Songs About Everything

Written and Sung by John Primm


Little Black Things - for Steve Allen fans


This is one of my favorites, for it helps me remember the crazy humor of Steve Allen.

I liked him so much that my boy's names ended up being Steven and Alan!

If you remember his show you might recall him using the term "little black things,"

which he used if there was a mess on his desk. "Your sister's bird" is another phrase

I heard several times.  And he would often talk about a thing using one word and

say that "it is commonly called" something else. Perhaps some of the other terms

in this song were part of his deal, but I don't remember anymore.  Too bad I didn't

work in a high pitched "Smock! Smock!" into this song.  Remember that?



Oh they're horrible, ghastly, awful, ahhhhhhh!

Terrible, rancid, morbid, baaaah

Smelly, slimey, slippery gish

Pungent, putrid, repulsive yish.


Oh these are things little black things are

Wherever you go, they'll be thar

In fish bowls and garbage and telephone poles

On lovely ferns in rolling knolls.


Oh they're under seats where gum is laid

On flimsy green money that's not been paid

On the side of your shoe and beneath your heel

They're even on bottoms of boats that is commonly called the keel


They're on trading stamps, on cuts that hurt

In doggy dog piles and piggy bird dirt

Under a rock and the side of a tree - ah ha!

Little blacks are there to see.


They're on ball point pens, on your big toe

On that bloke there that's got B.O.

On top of Old Smokey and beyond the blue

There's some on sister's bird and there's some on you!


Oh they're horrible, ghastly, awful, ahhhhhhh!

Pungent, putrid, repulsive, baaaah

And no matter what you say

Little black things are here to stay!